A thin line.

“Good morning, America!”

He says this to me every morning, usually as I’m passing him on my way out the door, while he unloads the power tools I’m trying to escape.

“Good morning, Evidio.”

“All this noise I’m making. I’m going to have to take you out to dinner to repay you.” He raises both hands in surrender, beaming. “I have no choice! I must take you out!”

He’s a smooth operator. Always smiling, always cracking jokes. When he and his crew have to work at my place, I make coffee and breakfast, and it’s been nice getting to know him over the years. He was very supportive during the strike, even though it meant less work for him, too. He started working on a project just at the same time my job ended, so we’ve been seeing more of each other lately than usual. Read more

Why I’m Currently Not Speaking to Rafael.

[scripty]
RAFAEL
So, I meant to tell you. I was walking home the other day, and I saw this really beautiful person that looked like you.

PAMIE
Oh. Oh, well, that’s nice.

RAFAEL
Yeah, I think I was texting or something, so I didn’t notice until I was like, six inches away, and that’s what I saw. The eyes. The eyes were just like yours, and I thought of you. Beautiful eyes.

PAMIE
Thanks.

RAFAEL
But it was a dude.

PAMIE
…thanks.

RAFAEL
And he had bigger lips than you. And more hair.

PAMIE
Wow.

RAFAEL
What? He was stunning. But, you know, stunning as a dude. So maybe you should think about it.

PAMIE
Yeah.

RAFAEL
Is this not a compliment, in any way?

PAMIE
No.

RAFAEL
Why not? He was beautiful. And he had your complexion. And your eyes. That’s what made me think of you. He had your eyes. But his hair was puffier.

PAMIE
Okay.

RAFAEL
And blonder. He looked more innocent than you do, but that’s probably just because he was way younger.

PAMIE
And we’re done here.

RAFAEL
Where are you going?

PAMIE
To go find the male version of you.
[/scripty]

I promise I’m not dead.

I’ve just been incredibly busy.

I could write about my current work schedule, and the different jobs I’m juggling concurrently in books, television and film, and have a deep discussion about trying to have it all in a town where you’re never done trying to have it all while trying to keep some semblance of a personal life intact. Read more

click.

It’s time for me to take a new author photo. Some of you may remember how spectacularly the last one was received. I was tired of talking about my long hair in the old shot. It had been in two books, three periodicals and an Aspen promo. It was two years old. Time for an update. Read more

Three Stories

LA Story

I felt my first real earthquake today. I mean one where I knew an earthquake was about to hit and then it did. I sat through lots of earthquakes when I lived in Palm Springs as a kid, but I don’t really remember them. We lived above the laundry facility at a hotel, so we often thought it was the machines rumbling when it was actually a quake.

One happened when Dan first moved here to LA, but I was drying my hair at the time and thought Ray was doing some dumb-ass shit underneath the apartment. By the time I realized the world was shaking, the earthquake had finished. Read more