Robbed. Robbed!

I don’t remember how it started. I think a phone call from Beat the Geeks, saying that a friend of mine recommended me as a contestant and they were about to start their new season. That had to have been it, because I’ve since been called by other game shows, and they’re always dropping some name from my Palm Pilot, telling me I’d be perfect for this new show. Flattery and name-dropping, even in the game show circuit, it’s still Hollywood.

I had to go to the studio and fill out an application. They took a Polaroid of me and had me list quirky, interesting facts about myself. Then I had to list my friends and their phone numbers. “Only girls!” they shouted. “We don’t need any more men.” See how easy it is to get chicks’ digits?

I had to stand in front of this small crowd and answer six questions, I think, two from each category (TV, Film, Music). I only got one wrong, which was, “Who sang the lead song for The Fall Guy?” The funny thing is I had a mental conversation with myself a few months before where I pondered the fact that I knew nothing about The Fall Guy and wondered if it was going to cost my Trivial Pursuit points. So there you go. Know everything. I guessed “Heather Locklear,” and they told me I was “close.”

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strange and tragic

what do you blame when you’re done blaming el nino?

Eric met a person whose name rhymes with Mr. Bigglesworth.  This has caused me to giggle constantly for several hours now.  Can you imagine?  I heard another guy on the radio named Jeffrey Dahmer.  You know the first time he heard about Dahmer on the news he was like, “No, no, NO!  Not a serial killer!  Why a serial killer?  Oh, man!  No!”

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pressure

i ain’t no one’s kathie lee

I took a little vacation yesterday.  I did it because I couldn’t stay awake all day long.  I just kept falling asleep and having the strangest dreams.  For some reason in the dream the Donnie and Marie Behind the Music that I had been watching got melded with the Lenny Bruce documentary that I had watched the night before and I was really upset that Donnie had resorted to racist humor to get ratings.

It was that kind of weird day.

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