Posting my Austin Film Festival info here for those of you who I want to see, need to see, or hope to see next week. When I’m not at these places, I’m probably in the Driskill lobby, or wherever Chuy tells me to be. Austin, please get your breakfast tacos and Mexican Martinis all in a row because I have only so much time to eat and drink between these fun things: Read more
Wednesday: Dallas Quill Awards Gala
It is my first gala. It is my first time being a keynote speaker. I fear that these two firsts will combine to give me a moment like you see in comedy pilots for clumsy-girl-you’re-supposed-to-relate-to-but-will-be-worse-at-life-than-you-are-so-you-feel-a-little-better-about-yourself shows. You know, where I accidentally knock over the podium because I made a joke that didn’t go so well because I didn’t know someone important to the organization had just died of whatever thing I was joking about, and then when I try to fix the podium I accidentally rip off a toupee or two while having no choice but to bust into a freestyle rap about Dallas and then eventually I just grab the mic start talking about Tim Riggins because it’s the only way I know how to get all girls back on my side. Read more
It’s gearing up to be book tour time, when I leave the house to get in front of you and then I can’t stop talking because I don’t leave the house enough. Here’s the schedule so far. Read more
In less than a month I’ll be at the Austin Film Festival, where I will once again attempt to balance seeing friends and schmoozing, which will result in some terrible hits to my liver. Read more
…and then this morning I Googled “master cleanse.”
ooooooohhhhhhhhh man, I am full of food. This year’s food-trip with Tara and Dave was shorter than the last time, but I managed to get an extraordinary amount of eating in. I started strong and ended strong, you guys. I had ice cream for dinner last night. Yes, that is bragging.
We did some antiquing (someone please send me these chairs), some drinking (heh, “some”), and some friend-gathering as we repeatedly hid from the oppressive heat. I recorded a podcast as the first female guest for a future episode of Totally Hungover, which may or may not end up being the last time they allow a female guest. There was officially too much Whataburger and not enough migas. Read more
This week has been an ass-kicker. A “no” on a job I wanted (that happened at the exact same time we got rear-ended on the highway), another no, another no, Oprah ending, a plumbing clog that has caused septic nightmares coming from inside the house. And since methane gas inside the house isn’t enough, a family of skunks have taken up residence in the backyard. Judging from the smell, they are easily frightened multiple times a day. I lost a notebook that had story notes I needed, but more importantly contained apparently the only copy I had of my landlord’s address and the rent is due… No, don’t bother looking for the notebook, I think I lost it 30,000 miles in the air. (Sudden screaming baby made me accidentally overturn my purse in 18C.)
Since my father’s no longer around to buy multiple lottery tickets every week, I need you to keep hope alive by blindly entering a contest with the brazen assumption that you’re going to win because you’re a winner and that’s what winners do. That’s what my dad would’ve done and I need someone to be a winner. Some good news, people. Let’s find it. Read more
I went to Austin for five days and gained four pounds. This is why I can’t live there anymore. Read more
EAT THROUGH AUSTIN, the final list: Read more
The best part about Eat Through Austin is that as soon as you tell someone our plan, that person is immediately on board.
“Oh, right on. I’m so jealous.”
Dave, Tara and I are here to eat. All of Austin, if possible. That’s it. We have friends on the agenda, of course. I haven’t been here in five years, after all. But when we aren’t seeing old friends and loved ones, we are eating. Everything. (But don’t try to buy alcohol after midnight on Friday. Damn, Austin, I forgot about that. That blows.)
It took about ten minutes for me to remember where everything is as I drive around this city, and every street hits me with equal parts nostalgia and wonder (yes, wonder, bitches). My most impressive moment was when I was navigating us to Trudy’s simply by memory, thought I was lost and then felt my stomach pang. “Turn right here,” it said. And there it was. Trudy’s. (My stomach is now known as our Gastronomical Positioning System.)
Opal Devine’s: Live Oak Black Bark Beer, cracked pepper fries, southwestern egg rolls. [with Blynch]
House Snacks: HEB Central Market BBQ potato chips, Izze sodas (blueberry), white peaches, coffee [w/ Tara, Dave]
Trudy’s: chips, salsa, Migas, Kona coffee [w/ Tara, Dave]
Shoal Creek Saloon: sausage, chicken, & pork gumbo, boiled crawfish, pitcher of Shiner [w/ Chuy, Cathy and the Zarate boys]
Doubletree Inn: Booze… and double chocolate cake [w/ Chuy, Cathy, the boys, Matt, Becca]
…I gotta go sleep off this crawfish. No, the cake. I think that’s what’s keeping me up. New rule: smaller meals, more frequently. I thought we’d hit Amy’s Ice Cream today.