Women are weird.
That’s been my big revelation over the week. The shower is over and I was the “odd girl out,” what with being the only person there not married, getting married, or pregnant…I kept running into the other room, slamming the door and chanting:
I don’t want babies. I don’t want to get pregnant.
I don’t want babies. I don’t want to get pregnant.
I’m losing my mind.
I’m going to Hollywood in a couple of weeks to perform/audition for a cable company (sounds like “ItchKnee, Yo”). My troupe is going and we are putting on a little show for them. That’s how some people refer to it. The “little show.” Like I’m still in the third grade and my mom is making me a costume of a giant milk carton. I guess it’s hard to explain what it means when it looks like we’re scrounging together all this money to go and we’re hoping that they notice us. That makes it look like a “little show.” That and the show is only 45 minutes long.
Date: 16 July 1998
Here’s an interesting thought. Do you think that Time thinks feminism is dead because women have stopped trying to change things from outside the system and have finally found that they are making huge strides within the system? Why should we give up what we like? I enjoy wearing nice things and having people tell me that I look good but I also don’t depend on some man to tell me that I’m smart or that I can be successful.
I think that we are just now starting to see what NOW and the militant feminist movement of the 60′s,70′s and 80′s worked so hard to bring about. No longer is it a bad thing if a woman wants to stay at home and raise her kids. No longer is it a bad thing if women aren’t married by the time they turn 30. The career path is just as valid a choice for a man as it is for a woman. Sure we are still dealing with the pressures of living in a male dominated society but who do you think is influencing the men of tomorrow. Their mothers, and their teachers and their babysitters and their daycare’s. Female dominated. And all of them for the most part teaching their boys that girls can do anything they can do, so you better learn to respect them. That’s what it’s all boiling down to. Woman are finally starting to get the respect that they deserve and more and more men are starting to see the light. Women are their partners NOT their slaves.
Do what you want to do.
Do what makes you happy and above all love yourself and respect yourself!! It’s absolutely OK to be a woman and enjoy all the things that make you feel like a woman.
So interesting is the human reflex when fear kicks in. We call it “fight or flight.” What I really love is the way that you think you should behave is not always how you react.
Exhibit A: I have a friend, we’ll call him Larry, who is a big talker. Nice guy, big talker. Doesn’t seem very threatening, but constantly reminds you that he could beat the shit out of any one who crossed his path.
If you haven’t read the article, read it now. Then we’ll have a little “rap” session, as Time wishes we would still do, sitting in a circle, with beads and crystals all around us, discussing babies and the “evils” of alcohol.”Is Feminism Dead?” I equate this question with “Is self-esteem dead?” “Who likes being a woman?” “Still wish you gals were like us?”
She liked to take her time. That was part of her problem. The world often went too fast for her. She never had time to decide what she really wanted to eat, and usually settled on something that she had before, that she felt safe with. The same thing would often happen when shopping for a new dress. The familiar florals comforted her, and she felt she didnt have the luxury through all of the “can-I-help-you-ma’am’s” and “do-you-want-to-try-these-ons” to try out the new, bold, striped outfit that she wanted so desperately to wear. She was an aggressive woman trapped inside of a wallflower. Her mind got mad at her often. Why did she stick to these annoying habits?
I saw Lili Taylor at Ruta Maya Coffee shop last week. I knew it was her. Man, she looked just the same. She’s just about my height, just a little shorter, and just as pretty as I thought she’d be. How appropriate that she was in Say Anything…, because I did anything but that. I just started at her. She was complaining that her Latte didn’t taste right and I wanted to say something witty and profound so that she’d go, “You must be a comedian or an actor or at least have a little playwrighting and/or directing training.
Do not taunt the child. Screw the diet.
So here’s what happened. My boyfriend lost a ton of weight, continues to lose a ton of weight, feels good, looks good… pisses me off. I on the other hand, lost a couple of pounds, but they were all in tears. Man, I cried at the drop of a hat, gagged at the sight of food, and hated everyone. Headache for three days straight (coming off of caffeine) and tired and sweaty all the time. Every woman I know that has tried this diet has become miserable. It has something to do with hormones, I’m sure. Men can abuse their bodies much more easily… if only I hadn’t been on my period when I started the thing… I don’t know.