Even More Roller Derby: May 9th, LADD All-Stars Ri-Ettes Take On KC/DC from Kansas City and Albuquerque
Recently honored as a Treasure of L.A. by the Central City Association, the L.A. Derby Dolls prove their worth with another spectacular evening of music, mayhem and, of course, banked track roller derby at the Doll Factory (1910 Temple St., L.A., CA 90026) on Saturday, May 9.
The L.A. Derby Dolls (LADD) all-star team, called the L.A. Ri-Ettes, battle a hybrid team made up of two of the best flat track leagues in the nation called KC/DC. Both the Kansas City Roller Warriors (KCRW) and the Duke City Rollergirls (DCD) are ranked among the top 15 leagues in the country and belong to the Womens Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA). To date there are more than 360 flat track leagues in the nation. The LADD are one of only four leagues skating on the spectacular banked track.
The hometown Ri-Ettes feature the best of the best in LADD, with explosive fan favorites like Mila Minute and Broadzilla and quiet superstars like Haught Wheels and Paris Killton alongside imposing captain Krissy Krash. KC/DC will look to steal the jewel from LADDs treasure and are bringing a battalion that includes captains of their respective travel teams, Bruz-Her (KC) and Kamikaze Kim (DC) and the fast and furious jammer Muffin. Does it take two to take down the Ri-Ettes?
Cat Davis thought she’d be so funny doing a dramatic reading of my first short story. …And then this happened.
(Sorry about the hat. I was trying something out. Won’t happen again.)
I hope you like this picture I took last night, even though it’s not a good picture. I’m looking for some kind of bright side to what happened after I’d taken it.
I’d been waiting in line for a long time. Long enough to look up, see these lights and think, “Why?”
After I paid for my things, I scooted off to the side to snap a couple of pictures. First, this one. But as I went to take a second that included the cold storage underneath these lights, I suddenly felt something on me, skin on my face, a mouth on my ear. And then a bark, hot and frantic and human in my ear.
I screamed and jumped. Maybe in that order? I don’t know. Have you ever had someone bark into your head? Things get weird.
Behind me stood the tiny homeless woman I’d seen sitting outside earlier, screaming at everyone that we had no right to be happy. In retrospect, maybe she had only been yelling at me.
Dressed in black, her head wrapped in a shawl, she looked exactly like the Evil Queen from Snow White when she handed over the poison apple.
I am still holding my hand to my head as she screamed, "No picture taking!"
(I will never understand my jacked-up fight or flight reflex. ‘Yes, ma’am?’ Really?)
As I was busy getting the fuck out of there, she turned to the line of men who just watched this shit happen, and she goes, "This kind of thing has happened before." So to any others of you out there who’ve had this happen to them in this weird store: Dude, I’m so sorry. That sucks.
I’m learning that one of the dangers of looking up is that you don’t see who’s coming to get you from down below.