"Flesh chunks found in Iowa water lines"

Shit.

CARROLL, Iowa (AP) - City officials are perplexed over the discovery of mysterious chunks of flesh that have been clogging up city water lines. A month ago, city officials sent a hunk of meaty-fatty tissue to the Iowa Department of Natural Resources for identification.

Lesson: If you're going to make Chinese Children Salad, and you accidentally cook too much of the first ingredient, the garbage disposal doesn't work as good as you think it would.

Lesson learned. Sorry, Iowa. Last time I try to have a dinner party. God. I can't do anything wright. I thought it'd be nice to have some people over. Catherine's been working on her solo album, and I think she needs some feedback from someone other than me (she thinks I'm too critical. I'm SORRY if I have an OPINION.)

But this guest is allergic to onions, and that guest is allergic to shellfish, and this other one doesn't like wheat and I'm like, "You all get people. Deal with it." My house, my rules.

I mean, come on. I don't go to your house and complain that your pillowcases aren't made of woven cheerleader hair (oh, soooooo good.) No, I don't. I bring my own pillow. If you have such picky needs, BRING YOUR OWN FOOD.

Jeeeez.

[thankxxs to Stacy for the link. I'll have to go "visit" her now, as she thinks she's figured out where I live.]