I Just Overheard the Most Amazing Monologue By This Drunk Lady
“You don’t know about Pinterest? You don’t know about PINTEREST?!
Pinterest.
PINterest. It’s on the Internet. It’s like, the most, the most, THE most amazingly successful website…EVER. Something like the fastest, hundred million, it’s like– do you know Facebook? Like TEN times that. Yeah.
It’s all about beautiful things and style.
Some Things About Myself That I Need To Work On
* When I’m in a public restroom and a lady comes out of the stall, I really want to stop saying “Thank you” to her when I pass her on my way in. And I mean, I really thank her in a genuine way, every time. There is no need for this thank you. It’s not like I was about to pee my pants. If anything, all it does is draw attention to the fact that I’m about to use the toilet she just finished using. I will be in her “pee space,” as the mother of an ex-boyfriend of mine used to say when she’d scold him for using the bathroom before I did.
That has also stayed in my head forever, so I will now share it with you. She said when boys pee they stand in front of the toilet, and there’s a “stream of pee space” that is created that is exactly where my head goes when I sit down to pee right after him.
* I need to work on not being so obsessed with the pee space.
Two Places to Find Me
Southland-area peeps! I’ll be at this weekend’s LA Times Festival of Books!
Sunday
Bovard Auditorium
3:00 pm
The Nerds Shall Inherit the Earth. (Panel 2093)
Maureen Johnson
Pamela Ribon
John Scalzi
Interviewer: Amber Benson
I love that this panel is coming right after the conversation with Anne Rice. I’m always next to her on bookshelves, so why not get slotted right next to her at a festival for books?
I’m extremely excited about my panel this year, and look forward to out-dorking myself. For those of you who remember the SE Hinton situation, you know I’ve set that bar pretty darn high.
Secondly!
Libraries, My Mother, Dewey and You.
One day in and Dewey’s already making the DCPL excited and teary.
It’s Dewey Donation System Time!
Hello, fine people. It’s that exciting time of the year when we put on our do-gooder hats and go send some books to some strangers. The Dewey Donation System is open for business, and this year we’re sponsoring two libraries in need brought to us by two very special pamie.com/Dewey fans.
This Week in “Somtimes I’m Stoopid.”
This week has taught me a few lessons I should’ve learned long ago. I’ll share them with you on the unlikely chance I’m not the last person to learn these things.
First: I got internet scammed.
Hey, Pamie: “What Does a Non-Staffed TV Writer Do in February?”
Aspiring television writers! Curious-about-writers people! Those of you sitting there thinking, “Uh, I know pamie doesn’t have a pilot, she’s not staffed, her latest book is turned in… so what the eff is she doing not updating pamie.com?”
Today’s Weekly Procrastination is for you.
More Tales from the Accidental Asshole: The Egg Lady
I don’t usually go to Halloween parties. I don’t like to dress up in a costume, and this is the part where you get to snark, “Is that because you’re usually wearing some kind of crazy outfit anyway?” to which I will say, “Yes.”
But I’m not a hater, and I don’t think it’s stupid or childish, and I like other grown-ass people having fun on Halloween. All the sexy turtles and literal interpretations of catchphrases. It’s like watching Facebook memes come to life. It’s delightful.
But that’s once a year, and that’s how it should be. (I am not a crack pot.) This is why I’m not excited when you Evite me to your Themed Birthday Party.
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