30 Comments

  1. JennyA

    HA! Your mom is so awesome.

    As an aside, my mom also hates Mad Men. She says, “I was there, and it was depressing, and I don’t want to watch a show about it.”

    My mom is Sally, so… I guess I get it.

  2. Mel

    I wish my mom were this funny on the phone. She used to be but now she’s all “I’m talking to your brother, I’ll call you back!” It is far less amusing.

  3. I’m so afraid that she thinks you’re talking about Jerry Orbach and you’re going to have to break the news to her that he’s dead. Many years of dead.

    • Kizz, I think you might be right. Even though I called her when Jerry Orbach died, which I do whenever one of “her guys” passes away.

      The Cary Grant phone call was difficult.

  4. Love that!

    I didn’t know they had canceled the Closer, but I have a funny story about the Closer.

    They ran a preview on AMC FirstLook for the Closer one season where she’s walking around and people are just telling her flat out about the crimes they committed, as if she were psychic. Which made me buy Season one of iTunes for a long bus ride, because hey! Kyra Sedgwick as a PSYCHIC COP is an amazing show!

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a great show, but it’s no Kyra Sedgwick: Psychic Cop.

    (See also: I watched all of Hidden Palms because I thought the twist was going to be that the main character was a mermaid.)

  5. Michael

    It might make your mother feel better to know that when The Closer ends next year, they are going to spin-off a new show called Major Crimes with Mary McDonnell’s character and most of the rest of the supporting cast.

  6. Does your mom know they are making a spin-off of The Closer with Mary McDonnell called Major Crimes? She may not like it though since her character doesn’t get along with Kyra’s character. I mean, if she’s anything like my mom.

  7. Infinite Pest

    So I sent this post to my mom and was like, ‘Hey Mom, this is us. We would/have totally had this conversation.’ Here is the response I got: ‘It certainly does sound familiar. I think the folks at Verizon are taping us. Time to stop using cell phone technology; will go back to telephones and face to face communications.

    Thank goodness I still have a typewriter in my office — they’re probably tracing my email and Microsoft Office Suite documents also.’

    We have the same mom Holla. Apparently.

        • Infinite Pest

          The real logic behind this. She thinks that Verizon is recording us and broadcasting our calls somewhere (youtube maybe?) and you are listening to them (because clearly that’s what you spend your time doing), thus we should stop using the phone so you can stop listening and cannot repeat the same conversations with your mother.

          We should have drinks and compare mothers sometime. If nothing else, it will be quite amusing.

          • Infinite Pest

            She won’t notice. She doesn’t know how to use it anyway. Mostly when she answers the phone she just hangs up on me and then has to call me back.

  8. Oh, lordy. I just have to say that I turned to pamie.com, as I so often do, because I was dying for something good to read at work on a braindead day and this box on my desktop wasn’t ponying up. Until now. And see, I never shoulda done that, because then I laughed too hard and I had to smooch my lips together more and more to keep from laughing really loud and now the lower half of my face is numb.

    I guess Dr. Pamie’s Readers could fix that, though, if the problem persists. And there are no more new entries. So either way, I have nothing to complain about.

  9. My mom ALSO has the caller ID on her TV, and she ALSO answers the phone with my full name. Only she pronounces it all painstaking-like, because her caller ID also TALKS, and she likes to imitate the lady on the machine. So, “Hello, ELIZABETH LASTNAME.”

    Every time!

    (She keeps intending to start on Mad Men, but let me tell you now that she is going to HATE it.)

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