I love my team of old lady skaters.

Here’s the promo for my upcoming Baby Doll Brawl (this Sunday!!). Fun fact: during “and fight their way…” that’s me and my Meteorfight teammate Risky a Go-Go taking out two opposing team members, including their jammer, using her arm and my ass. (And then a few seconds later you can see me fling myself onto the rail in order to avoid a pile-up, where I hang there (but also knock over an opposing team member! yeah? anybody? … okay, fine.)

At the orientation meeting we were told this will be the sixth Baby Doll Brawl in the history of the LA Derby Dolls. This is when Helen Surly Frown turned to me and groaned, “Oh, Holla. You know what that means? We’ve skated in half of them. HALF! We are the oldest Fresh Meat of all time. Rancid, gross, smelly, old meat.”

Come watch the creakiest, hurtingest, oldest rookie skaters take on the newbiest of the noobs when Hell’s Belles defeat the Ice Vixens this Sunday at the Doll Factory. Tickets on sale now. If you’re too far away, you can still support your LA derby girl by watching the live feed.

halfway through this excellent stack.

• Lorrie Moore: A Gate at the Stairs
• AJ Jacobs: The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment
• Nick Hornby: Juliet, Naked
• Allen Shawn: Wish I Could Be There: Notes from a Phobic Life

Tonight: Trapped in the Closet, Live at M Bar

Dear friends, the best goodbyes are in the Closet!

What can truly be said for R. Kelly’s operatic masterpiece, Trapped in the Closet? Nightmare? Genius? Stanky spewey epic? Come see the original 12 chapters performed live by Brently & friends.

This show originally premiered in LA and has traveled to NYC and back, gathering attention in the NY Times, Village Voice, LA Times, LA Weekly, CityBeat, and mo mo mo.

Join us for one special night, Friday Nov 6th at Midnight. Sing along if you can, or just come and toast the bard of the 21st century, R. Kelly.

Then, a week later, Mr. Brently relocates to Austin to start a new life as young Kinky Friedman.

So come say ta ta for now! It’s been All Things Delicious!

Trapped–LIVE by R. Kelly
performed by Brently w/ Pamela Ribon, Katey Mushlin, Jenn Bass, Jessy Schwartz, Rebecca Davis, Robertson, Chris Chauncey, Mitch Baker, Alexx Staggs, Dustin Fasching, James Leroy Brown III, Paul Feldman, Sugar Shane Laser, Jason Allen and YOU!

11/6/09 at 12:00
$10 at the door

facebook info

http://www.brentlyonline.com
Keeping All Things Delicious since 1976

No! Noo! Nooo! Noooo!

Try to pick which of the following dumb-ass moves I made in the past twenty-four hours:

1. In looking for a beloved earring, I managed to smash it underneath my shoe. Even over my own sobbing, I was able to hear my grandmother’s shrieks of horror from the afterlife.

2. While clearing space on the counter for the coffee pot, I managed to knock my beloved Samantha Who? coffee mug into the sink, shattering the handle.

3. Somehow managed to wash all of my white sheets and towels with a black ink pen. I’ve run them three times with bleach and Oxyclean and yet: I’m still the miserable new owner of zebra tie-dyed linens.

4. Managed to change out of pajamas in order to run an errand. Victory is brief! Upon returning, I then managed to drop an entire iced latte all over the front of my new skirt… and splattered coffee Exorcist-style all across the entryway to my apartment.

5. All of the above, because this is not the first entry you’ve ever read here.

If you picked Number Five, congrats! You’re having a much better day than I am.

[Other items jacked in the past week or so include: my iPhone case, my digital camera, a pair of shoes, my elbow.]

i know, i know. I KNOW.

It isn’t that I’m trying to ignore pamie.com. I am in front of my computer every single day, but between the twitter account and the photography deadline, I feel like my life gets updated. I’m working on edits for the new novel, I’m developing a half-hour with a studio (read: Yo, I got a job!), and going on meetings that range from wildly successful (see: earlier where I got a job), to not too terribly successful at all –

It’s the head tilt that kills me. When they shake your hand with their right ears to their shoulders, going, “It was so nice to see you again.” That’s it. That’s the “no.” But you actually have to wait a day or two for your agent to call to give you the official “no” that you already knew when they were like, “Hey, thanks for putting on clothes and talking for twenty minutes straight about a show we don’t want to buy. We know it’s way easier to stay home in your pajamas.”

–Then there’s roller derby and travel and the fact that I have hundreds and hundreds of words I have to write, so this space doesn’t feel like a very productive use of my time.

And, to be honest, the things I’d want to write here, the stuff that makes me enjoy writing pamie.com falls under two categories:

1. Things I’m not allowed to write about here, or at the very least I’m smart enough now to know that I shouldn’t, and

2. Stuff I want to write about but I haven’t had the time to sit down in order to write it properly.

Also:

3. I seem to be unable to write a sentence these days without having a kind of mental breakdown that involves massive use of the delete key, several cups of coffee, much rubbing of the eyes and verbal rants to invisible people, wondering why words don’t seem to make sense anymore. Sometimes I go to write one word, and a completely different one ends up in front of me on the screen. Like, three days ago I typed the word “sceene” when I meant “seen.” It took fifteen seconds of staring at the “screeene” to figure out what I had done wrong.

This cannot be a good sign.

So this place ends up being roller derby announcements and videos I saw and books I’m reading and is kind of a sad, sad space. I’m sorry. I really am, because I care very much about pamie.com. Eleven years is a long time to have this site. I just have to figure out what I’m going to do with it next.

the book pile

• Catherine O’Flynn: What Was Lost
• Haruki Murakami: A Wild Sheep Chase
• Ann Packer: The Dive from Clausen’s Pier (Yes, I am the last to read this.)
• Margaret Atwood: Bodily Harm
• Various, edited by Ben Forkner, Patrick S. J. Samway: Stories of the Modern South
• Wendy Kaminer: True Love Waits: Essays and Criticism

just one of the many reasons.

“I had two female friends in my life before I started roller derby. Two. Now I have eighty. That’s a big deal.”

(This piece isn’t new, just new to me. It was nominated for a 2008 Sports Emmy for Outstanding Short Feature earlier this year.)