Fergie: The Dutchess

Song: “Fergalicious“

I’ve learned an important lesson this holiday season. No matter how jamming I wanna be alone in the house to this song, it’s very difficult to dance in my mom’s house, due to the fact that 72% of the air consists of cigarette smoke.

Oh, my golly, I think my lung just collapsed.

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Dear Defamer…

The Phoenix Film Critics Society Awards gave [...] Little Miss Sunshine best screenplay, proving stretching out Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video into 100 minutes of indie movie quirk clichés was an idea whose time had come.

Exactly. THANK YOU for saying it. Now I don’t feel so alone in the world.

an ill wind

First, there was the storm.

Then, there were the blackouts.

Then, there were the carbon monoxide poisonings. I’m sorry, the WHAT?

Then, still, there were the blackouts.

When are the locusts?

It was to this dystopian Al Gore weather-mare that I let Eric fly on Saturday morning. I grew up in the northeast, where every flake of snow was greeted with a hail of news stories all screaming “THE STORM OF THE CENTURY,” no matter the century we were talking about. So when I heard about the gusty wind in the Pacific Northwest, I downplayed in a most typical way. “Yeah, wind. Sounds windy.”

Oops. Last night, Eric slept under every blanket he could find in the Pacific Northwest, as his parents’ house still doesn’t have power four days after the storm. He has periodically taken trips to the car to warm up, where he has run into his dad in the process of grinding coffee beans.

I leave to go up there on Saturday. If there’s still no power, I’m bringing the cats as blankets. Warm, cuddly, adorable blankets. So get fixing, northwest utilities…I’m not sure Bumble would make it through the flight.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow — The Psychology of Optimal Experience

“Learning to use time alone, instead of escaping from it, is especially important in our early years. Teenagers who can’t bear solitude disqualify themselves from later carrying out adult tasks that require serious mental preparation… It is likely that sooner or later behavioral geneticists will find in our chromosomes the chemical instructions that make us feel so uncomfortable whenever we happen to be alone.”

Jane’s Addiction: Ritual de lo Habitual

Song: “Classic Girl“

Dear High School Me:

The weather is cold and raining, and not unlike the air around you the first time you ever stole one of Mom’s Marlboro Reds because you wanted to see if it felt “cooler” to smoke in the rain, as you were waiting for Keith Randolph to pick you up in his Jeep on the way to school. He overcharged you five bucks a week for the pleasure, but anything was better than getting stuck with those faux-Nazi poseur bullies on the back of the schoolbus.

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maybe we should blame the spice girls.

So, Irwin’s hoping I’ll start some sort of comedy blog war with his latest post. Really, the main problem I have is continuing to refer to him by his online handle. The man is nothing like the character name he’s hiding behind, so it never sticks in my head.

But.

Let me just say that I love all the words he used to say I’m funny and unique and special and should be dancing in the streets thanking the comedy gods they attached my wit to a vagina, but in doing so he proved my point.

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